I really need to cheer myself up and the fact that SpongeBob just showed me his legs and it did not even make me smile is really just explaining the mood that I am in. That being said, I think its time for another Dinosaur eating story.
One day there was a land called Sharnia that you got to by jumping inside the kitchen drawer. You know the one I'm talking about. It really has no purpose and is suddenly filled up with pointless things; such as year old Christmas cards with your first cousin's ugly baby on them and five thousand letter openers. The Junk Drawer. Well not anymore because you jump inside and get to a land with dinosaurs that you thought were going to be nice. You had such high hopes of them not eating your pillows, cell phones, Mac&Cheese, your heads. You know, things like that. Well you where completely right on having those hopes because in all actuality they only go for the left legs and right thumbs.
Although those body parts may be important to almost everyone in the entire universe they were especially important to Fredrick. You see, Fredrick was born without an eyeball so he treasures every other thing that God gave him and he tends to protect his body VERRRY well because he wants nothing else missing. His thought process was "Isn't looking like a pirate with this eye patch on for the rest of my life going to be enough?!" Notice that his thought process was like that. That, my friend, is past tense. oh no. *shocked faces, everyone.*
On a cold, cold, very cold Thanksgiving afternoon Fredrick was going out of his mind insane when he realized that his pet starfish ate the last of the mashed potatoes. He accidentally fell into his kitchen drawer that was taken over by Gretchen his, God only knows what number, cousin's kid. and Maannnnn she be u g l y. Anywho. He fell into the drawer where he was suddenly deprived of his left leg and right thumb by a left leg right thumb eating dinosaur. He died.
That actually kind of worked in the smile department. thankyouverymuch. c:
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